When To Stop

I hadn't smoked an entire cigarette at all until I was about 17. Until then I only had a few drags when someone pressured me to try at about age 8 or so.

 I didn't particularly like it but I didn't hate it either. 

To be honest, it was the idea of rebellion behind the cigarette that ultimately made me try it wholeheartedly. I started smoking cigarettes at age 17. I had stolen a few from a woman's purse and snuck my way out of my house to the community pool that was locked up due to cold weather. Enjoying the darkness that comes with the night, I hid out only to determine whether or not tobacco was right for me.

 How fascinating it was to inhale something so toxic..

So I loved it. Not the taste, not the feeling it gave me, but the idea of going against what people wanted for me. That's what I loved. 

Who knows what's good for someone else really? Who's to say?

I ended up allowing it to become not something I liked or wanted but something I needed to "take the edge off" after a tough days work , emotional disturbance, and quite simply bored. When I turned 18, I rejoiced in the fact that I could aquire something so deadly without any legal issues. 

Age 19 came along and I was still doing the same old smoke and cough routine. By this time, my skin had lost it's healthy color, my hair was fragile and I had smokers cough. 

We both know that it was apparent to me that cigarettes aren't something useful or needed.

The question is: As a former smoker, when did I decide it was a good time to quit?

Every single day.

It was something that would present itself in my mind daily. Family brought it up the moment they seen the the death stick approach my lips, co-workers would comment on the aroma I caused, and every so often, I would injure someone with the burning tobacco itself. (Sorry, Flux.) 

So what did I do?

I definitely tried to quit on my very own.

Didn't work.

LSD was something I only had to dose with just a few times, while under the trap of Nicotine and tobacco, in order for my consciousness to be Un-Blocked from the reality of what I was doing to myself. It allowed complete awareness and oneness of mind and spirituality. Not that I'm very spiritual. 

But a nice evening of many substances caused a chemical reaction in my mind that allowed me to let go if the things that I very well knew were harmful to myself and my environment. 

 I can't endorse the use of illegal substances but there is definitely a reason it has become so illegal.

Not because "The Man" is worried that you'll jump out of a window and hurt yourself or others but because it opens you up to the 

idea that everything you know is 

wrong.

Now, at 20 years old, I can happily say that LSD has helped me on my journey to quitting Nicotine and Tobacco as a whole. My hair looks fuller, skin has cleared and  

I no longer have a need or even want to partake. 

However, everything is good in moderation. 

At least, that's what an intoxicated Redd would convince herself of.